Doug is a little bitch

Seeing as Doug wants to punt the fucking country into goddamn Armageddon, I'll put this in terms that he can understand. Pussies.

This is what Doug wants you to think will happen if Hussein is elected:

Fuck that shit. This is a better representation of the Obama Crisis:

Fuck you Doug

There's always next year...

and there's always go F yourself.
Last night the Capitals weren't able to get past the Flyers. Which reminds me of something. Philadelphia sucks. I hate Philly fans, teams and people alike. Maybe I'm overreacting due to the emotional stress of watching those dirty rat bastards crush the hopes and dreams of a young team of excellent hockey players. Maybe my anger comes from the fact that Philly made me throw a chair across the bar and get thrown out of said bar. Maybe I've finally come to the realization that no matter what I do, Philly will always be there. Looking at me, staring at me, taunting me. Getting in the background of my photos and making a silly face, getting drunk at a Christmas party and grabbing my brothers wife. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because Philly sucks.
Philly strikes me as the kind of city that beats his wife, and his dog, but is really a closet homosexual or pederast.

The more I think about it, the more I dislike it. OK, Cheesesteak is good, but everything else sucks. Plus, the stupid Flyer's have no shot at the cup, seeing as no Philly team has brought anything home since I was born. (76ers in 83) Listen good, you cheesesteakmongering, has been capital of the US, you suck for raining on my parade.

Also, there has been some buzz about town regarding our fans throwing trash onto the ice and booing. The initial reaction last night was that people were upset that we lost, and felt that they were let down by their team. So in response to this anger and resentment, they threw things at the Caps and booed them. On the contrary, I believe that it was simply a knee jerk reaction to the Flyers. Remember, they are from Philly. I think the Caps were simply booing the Flyers and throwing trash at them, which probably made the Flyers feel right at home, so it turns out that we are classier than I thought. Philly, boo's, trash? Sounds like a good time.

Code Pink, Code STFU

A late response to the situation in Berkeley, Ca.

Good lord, this is classic:
"We want to protect our city from the onslaught of the right wing," said Code Pink spokeswoman Zanne Joi. "We're facing people who are willing to kill or send other people's children to kill to get what they want. We understand the reality of that, and we're prepared to face that in a nonviolent way."

Dear Zannie,
Protect your city from the onlaught of the right wing?!?!?!? Is the Republican party mobilizing some secret military force that no one knows about to attack Berkeley? Do you see people with guns running around with elephant flags? No, you silly communist/dejected hippie, no, you certainly don't. What you see is outraged US CITIZENS, fed up with you and your ridiculous animosity towards a government that protects your right be that stupid. Moreover, to be that stupid on purpose and outloud. The sad thing is, you people believe that our government is WRONG for using our VOLUNTEER MILITARY FORCE to protect our safety, interests and well-being. What is it exactly that you are going to "face in a nonviolent way?" I think you, Zanne Joi (can't be your real name), should put down your $9 organic, non-fat, mocha frappachino and go home. I'm sure there are people there that don't want to listen to you either. Kids, Husband, 50 cats......

Here's an idea: Try shutting the F up!

Dear Madea Benjamin,

Shut the fuck up about politics and the wars in Iraq and Afganistan. You have barely a foot to stand on, no valid points, and no idea the sacrifices that our VOLUNTEER standing military force takes on so that YOU can be crazy. Thanks for your compliance.

Sincerely,
The Remaining Sanity in the World


I decided to look up these "Code Pink" looney tunes online and, once the general seething anger receded, I found something on their site that really pisses me off. (by the way, I hope I don't pegged as a commie for going to their site) They have a list of missions or goals that they are pursuing, including: impeaching our president, getting Mr. Cheney fired, blaming global warming (which isn't real) on the war in Iraq, saying that Ms. Rice has blood on her hands, and a plethora of anti-war propaganda and jargon. And towards the bottom I find this:

DARFUR: All Life is Sacred
"My heart aches when I think about tragedy in the lives of so many in Darfur, and how their cries for help go unheeded, especially by the leaders in this country. Our government should do everything in its power to stop the suffering, the pain, the violence." —Medea Benjamin.

IS THIS WOMAN SERIOUS?!?! I am not a military man, but I have friends that serve/have served as well as family members, and I have discussed military history over a cigar before with qualified intelligence officials. It seems to me that this woman is calling for us to take military action in Darfur! Wouldn't that situation be violent and destructive? Would it not cost the lives of Americans and locals? Isn't that what she is bitching about in Iraq? I am not saying go or don't go, but clearly she has no idea what it would take to go into Darfur and secure the region. I am not opposed to US military action solely based on the fact that I trust the people that run our country and our military and if those people deem military action necessary than who am I to argue?
But this woman is arguing that we should walk out of Iraq because she thinks its wrong, unjust and costing American lives and money. Then she has the guts to say we need to step into Darfur? Ridiculous and incongruent! Classic Communist BS!! This woman is clearly insane and is simply hellbent on hating freedom and causing unrest in our society for her own crazy reasons. Someone deport her.

I also found this on the "Code Pink" website (which I now refer to as "crazy irrational communist agitator headquarters") :

"October 4, 2007: Ann Wright, retired U.S. army colonel and former diplomat who quit in opposition to the Iraq war, and Medea Benjamin, co-founder of CODEPINK and founding director of Global Exchange, tested Canada's policy towards US peace activists on Thursday. They were on their way to Toronto at the invitation of the Toronto Stop the War Coalition but were denied entry into Canada due to previous arrests for demonstrating against the Iraq War outside the White House and in the Capitol. Their names have been added to FBI's National Crime Information Center (NCIC) database that apparently dictates Canadian border policy. The border agents at the Rainbow Bridge at Niagara Falls who barred Medea and Ann said the mere fact that they were listed on the NCIC was sufficient to bar them from entry."

Good. Turns out Canada has a pair.

Why the F is toilet paper under lock and key?

I hate you, special locked toilet paper dispenser in my bathroom at work. I hate you so much. Why in the name of everything holy is the TP being locked in my relativley expensive office space in Tyson's Corner, Va? Is there really an imminent threat of people stealing the one-ply sandpaper and stockpiling in at thier homes in case of a massive TP shortage? Is there and underground secondary market for poorly made TP? NO! No there is most certainly not. The real pain in the ass, haha, is the fact that you can't get more that six or eight inches before goddamn lockbox catches and rips you off. I spend more time in the bathroom screaming at the toitet paper dispenser and punching it in the face (it SO has a face) than what I originally came in there for. (obivously to fix my mascara) Se here is a note to the people that manage my building. Stop hoarding the TP and locking what TP you can part with in those god forsaken lock boxes. A lock box is not the answer. (ask Al Gore) So until this atrocity is remedied, I will continue to throw the unused scraps that break off on the floor and you can pick them up.

Rick and Tina go missing!!!

"A Rhode Island college couple who vanished after having Valentine's Day dinner together called a friend, but are still missing MyFOXProvidence reported.
Scott is a student at Johnson and Wales University and Querzoli attends Bridgewater State College.
The 2044 Honda Civic they borrowed had a Johnson and Wales University decal on the back, and was low on gas. The car's New Jersey license plate reads RUF20X."

Of course, Rick and Tina live in Providence, the question is, where the hell did they go? Narragansett Beach? Danny's? PRIMETIME?!?!?!? Lord knows they'll get there fast in that silly 2044 Honda Civic.

Don't stop....the Ravens!!!

Tom "i look gay in a cowboy hat" Brady you slippery MF'r. Just because my girlfriend loves you more than me DOES NOT mean that you are supposed get ridiculous 4th down and goal penalty calls. I don't expect anything less from your zombie-like fans then start throwing the ticker tape and firing up the Dick, uh-hum, Duckboats because you yet again scored the winning touchdown in the fourth quarter, leaving your team lacking a loss. But not I. No sir, not I. You almost lost to Philly, you almost lost to Ballmerr (that's how they say it.) I know almost is the key word, Doug. Punt this, asshole.

Breaking News: The Spanish Hate Freedom

True: The Spanish Government hates freedom.
False: It's ok to let terrorist that blow things up off the hook because they have an f'd up nose or a funny laugh. (See Picture above)

Those Spanish assholes have released seven of the terrorists that were involved, directly or indirectly, with the Madrid train bombing. Which, by the bye, killed 191 freaking people. No biggie, right? They have also acquitted the man who, on a wiretapped phone call, admitted that the whole damn thing was his idea.

So based on this court case, I have decided that the best way to get out of a speeding ticket in Spain is to drive as fast as you can, then call the cops and tell them exactly how fast you are going, how much of a badass you are and run over 191 people while your at it. Bring the taped conversation to court play it and say, "This is me admitting that speeding was my fantastic idea, praise God. I killed 191 people, can I go now?"

Then make yourself a toaster strudel and watch Oprah.
Then cut yourself because your are a freedom hating crazy fanatic and that's what you do, you kill people, so why not take your work home with you.

P.S. - Hillary Clinton Sucks. or Licks....