Woman Accused of Offering Sex for World Series Tickets

Local Philly woman offers sexual favors to an undercover cop for World Series tix. First off, c'mon lady, haven't we learned our lessons about sexual favors and the Craigslist. Didn't some dude merc some chick that he met on Craigslist. Second, when committing felonies, please make sure that you aren't talking to a cop. I've been to Philadelphia and I'm pretty damn sure that they begin teaching that in middle school. Today class we are going to learn how not to get busted by a Narc! Remember, always check for a wire, and never take her word for it. 15 gets you 20!
In a related story, word on the street is that Jeter is willing to S some D's for MVP votes. Food for thought.

Manny Withdrawal Support Group

As I mentioned in my last post there are some burning questions to which I need answers.

How do I treat Jason Bay?

How long do I hold a grudge against ownership/management?

I'm I trying to have my proverbial cake and eat it too?

Why is everyone siding with management?

Is it wrong for us to have that countdown clock?

Am I being a bad fan?

Who does Theo Epstein think he is?

When can I take my Manny jersey off? (hint: never)

When am I allowed to sober up?

I don't know the answers to any of these questions but I'm sure I'll delve into them over the next couple of weeks. Fucking thing, sucks!

I'm I stupid or is everyone else stupid

I like Peter Gammons, I have nothing but respect for the man but his most recent article on Manny is a total and complete piece of garbage. In it he claims that the Red Sox had no chance whatsoever of making the playoffs with Manny this year. Is he insane? Has he gone senile? He claims that Manny would've held the team hostage for the next couple months with his antics. Oh, I'm sorry he didn't fucking set a record for his hustle to first base against Lackey the other night. It would've really mattered too because the guy after him hit a home run that would've given the Red Sox a 2-1 lead. Oh wait, the sox were losing 6-0 at the time and the next hitter also grounded out.

Gammons also asks this ludicrous question: "Was it worse to take performance-enhancing drugs to perform better and win, or to decline to play and steal money?" STEAL MONEY? STEAL MONEY? HE FUCKING WON THEM TWO GODDAMN WORLD SERIES. Also it goes without saying that taking steroids is much worse than not hustling down the line (the fact that he raised the question is beyond comprehension). I know its fashionable and all to not give older guys extensions nowadays but if anyone ever desereved one before the season it was Manny fucking Ramirez. This ownership group is so fucking full of themselves its re-goddamn-diculous. They are the ones who acted like spoiled brats by not appreciating what Manny has done for them. Sure, Manny can be a handful and a pain in the ass but so what? He wins baseball games. Sorry he couldn't cure AIDS and lower gas prices while he was at it.

The real question, which I will get into in much more depth tomorrow, is how do I approach the rest of this season. I still love the players on the Red Sox and still like the team but the ownership can go fuck themselves for all I care. They drove their best player out of town. But if they make the playoffs I'm going to have to deal with all these Manny-haters saying, "I told you so." And I fucking hate being told I told you so. This fucking sucks.

Also what's this with everyone talking management's side in this case. No love for the working man? Fucking scabs. I wish I was at Fenway for Bay's first game. That fucking canuck. I'd yell, "The Bruins play down the street you fucking hoser!" And start Manny's Better chants all fucking night.

FUCK!!!!

Yankees Sign Richie Sexson to Tentative Deal

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Ok that's enough, it's jus...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Sorry about that but I ca...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
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WOW, that's a good one. How the mighty have fallen. This guy wasn't good enough for the 37-58 Seattle Mariners but the Yankees bring him in. He's barely hitting above the Mendoza Line (.218) with less RBIs than part-time catcher Chris Ianneta (30). I guess New York brought him in to face leftys (he's 21-for-61 against them this year) but really? I got nothing against Sexson personally but he's pretty washed up and I find it hilarious that the vaunted Yankees rescued him from the scrap heap. What's next? Jose Lima to steady the rotation? Eric Gagne to shore up the bullpen? Carl Everett to help clubhouse chemistry? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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No talent ass clown

Soooooooooo,
It just so happens that Derek Jeter isn't good at baseball.

He may be an outstanding team player, fine. They have tons of "outstanding team players" at the special olympics.

Okay, so you say he's the face of the Yankees organization and a "real stand-up guy." Fuck that shit.

First off, Stienbrenner was the face of the organizaiton, and when we all think about Steinbrenner, we think of the back of his head yelling at George Costanza. So ha.

Second, what the fuck is a stand up guy? Richard Pryor was a stand up guy, and I will to bet that he would have been a better shortstop.

The only reason that people think that Derek Jeter is a great baseball player is because they are fucking YANKEES FANS! Which, by nature, makes you a cotton headed ninny muggins. Granted, I believe that there is a secret chemical leaked into the city water that brainwashes people into being "newyoakahs," but until science backs me up, they are just plain dumb.

I'm sure that Doug will punt me some stats to back this shit up. But hey, fuggettaboutit! Right you silly greasy guido fucks? Paint the ceiling, thanks.

Look at this picture. I mean, did he actually say to the camera man, "Hey, I got nothing on A-Rod as far as talent goes, so, could you make me look shiny? Like really really really shiny? Pleeeeeease?!!? Thanks buddy. Don't worry, I'll sign that jersey later. Like right in the middle of the fucking all-star game." Hey Jeter, you should have even been in the dugout. You kinda suck.

Reason #14,738 Why I Love Manny

During a pitching change in the 6th inning of yesterday's game Manny decided to make a couple calls inside the monster. I would cut off my left hand to be in Manny's five.

Virginia beats the shit out of New England.

Listen here Chowdaheads.


Sad story for you snow-weary Plymouth rock monkeys. Virginia totally started America. 1607, Jamestown, Va. Birthplace of America. Look it up bitches.

Virginia is prettier, with 34 highly regarded state parks. Love the smell of America? I do. Where do I get my fix? Virginia's state parks!

New England isn't even a state. It's a stupid region with stupid regional parks. Plus, when is anything named after England good? (England, not an English person. Too easy, Doug)

Virgina gave birth to eight presidents.

Virginia grows tobacco, everyone looks cool when they smoke, even Richie Cunningham.

Our State capital was also the capital of a country. (One that was not recognized by the US, but who cares! Fuck em.)

We have the Pentagon, the CIA, and the NRA. Also, we have 7 dead presidents and Arlington National cemetery on our hallowed grounds.

Virginia was once so big and bad that it consisted of Virgina, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, North and South Carolina and DC. Beat that fuck stain.

Our accents sound better.

The Redskins are better (over time) than the patriots.

The Red Sox are better than anyone so fuck you Doug, I'm taking that one away.

America was born in Virginia.

Virginia is for lovers. We like to bump nasties.

p.s. Doug likes dudes.

Baseball = America

Oh really, the league is dominated by foreigners? Really? I guess the fact that a large majority (over 60%) of baseball players are American doesn't count as dominating. Regardless, should this matter? Baseball provides an opportunity for many people from less fortunate countries to come to this great nation of ours and, hopefully, fulfill the American dream, just like my ancestors did 100 years ago. Seriously, it wasn't more than a generation or two ago that names like Sean O'Malley and Rico Petrocelli were as foreign as Manny Ramirez or Jose Reyes. So a quick recap: most players are American and those that are not, join the great American melting pot. (Also many of these players become American citizens, like David Ortiz.)

Football has become the new poker. It's over analyzed to hell because there isn't enough action for the talking heads to discuss so they just work themselves into a lather about completely unimportant and nonsensical issues like Terrell Owens or post-game handshakes. Baseball actually produces new action nearly everyday. Nonstop action is very American.

Also, it's technically, "San Demas Football Rules." Billy Madison stole that line from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure...

Build a border fence around Baseball....

As we approach Freedommas (Latin for the Mass of Freedom), we find ourselves in the same old debate: Is Football more American than Baseball?

While I'm sure that Doug is foaming at the mouth, I think I'm going to go for Football on this one ladies. It's not that I don't support Baseball, or that I don't think Baseball is American, it's that there aren't enough fucking Americans playing the game. It is simply chock full of nuts, and by nuts I clearly mean fargen foreigners.

The league is dominated by foreign players and coaches, and given enough time, I'm sure they will be dominated by foreign owners. Let's face it folks, we are not as good at baseball as we used to be. Latin America has the US sitting on the pine and spittin' seeds.

Football, on the other hand, is still dominated Johnny Bluejeans. Don't get all caught up in this 'race' crap, because I don't think that these guys are all white dudes from 'Bama. But it is tough to come up with solid numbers for NFL players born on foreign soil. Also, what is more American than smashing into one another for hours on end?

I am not going to inundate you with facts, or legitimate science to back up my statements, because then I may be wrong. I leave all that shit for Doug.

In closing, Baseball has gone from Americas Pastime to Passed it's Prime, Knibb High Football Rules!!

America Week at Freglomerica

Come one, come all to Freedom, Glory, America's first annual America Week. Independence Day is this Friday so it's a short work week (Freedom!) culminating in shooting fireworks in a needlessly unsafe manner (Glory!) while stuffed full of apple pie and beer (America!). It's during this time of year that I count my lucky stars that I don't live in Canada (Canadian beer sucks). Anyway here at Freglomerica we'll be doing our best to keep fanning the flames of patriotism with an unprecedented amount of America-related content. Enjoy!

Catching up with the Red Sox

We are now at the official half-way point of the Red Sox season. They stand at 49-32, which puts them one game ahead of the Rays for first in the East (five and a half games ahead of the Yankees) and percentage points behind the Angels for the best record in the American League. A lot of people are talking them up as one of the elite teams in baseball and rightfully so, they are possibly the most complete team in the bigs. However, there are still some questions that remain about this club so let's go over what we know and what we don't know about the 2008 Red Sox.

What we know...

-The Red Sox have a lot of starting pitchers. Boston has had eight different pitchers start games for them so far this year (Lester (17), Wakefield (16), Beckett (14), Dice-K (12), Buchholz (8), Masterson (7), Colon (6), Pauley (1)). The starters are dealing with some injuries right now, Dice-K, Colon, and Buchholz are all not pitching in the bigs because of health issues. However I think the depth is a major strength for the Red Sox but at the same time they should be weary of dealing any of their starters, like the ill-fated Arroyo-for-Wily Mo trade. When healthy I say the rotation should go: Beckett, Dice-K, Lester, Colon, Buchholz/Masterson. For the playoffs I bet it's just Beckett, Dice-K, and Lester.

-Youk is a dick.

-Maybe JD Drew was worth that contract. Ever since he hit that grand slam in game 6 of the ALCS I haven't been able to objectively view Drew, but now I can objectively say that he is pulling his weight. He's been arguably the AL player of the month and has carried the load with Ortiz out of the lineup. I think this is a testament to what hitting in front of Manny can do for a player.


-The Red Sox bullpen is hilarious. When they aren't performing in the Manny Delcarmen Band, they're acting like they're pirates (seriously), when they aren't doing any of that they are making hilarious music videos to entertain the fans.

Rain delay
Uploaded by bsap11

What we don't know...

Can anyone other than Papelbon be relied upon? Javier Lopez is having a good year and Okajima is decent but I think they probably need another arm out there (Brian Fuentes of Colorado is probably the biggest name on the market). However they should be weary of making bad trades like they did for Scott Sauerbeck in 2003 and Eric Gagne last year.

Defensive lessons from Manny

I saw this at the excellent Red Sox blog Fire Brand of the American League. They had a cartoonist illustrate possible reasons for Julio Lugo's struggles in the field. This one tickled my funny bone:
Potential Reason #4: Someone’s been taking defense lessons from Manny.

Cartoon by Samara Pearlstein

Americo is now American

As a life-long citizen of America I would like to welcome one of our newest members, David Americo Ortiz. Yesterday Big Papi became a U.S. Citizen at a ceremony in Boston. Leave it to Papi to be on the DL but still find a way to make big things happen. Congratulations to you, Mr. Ortiz (and to the 226 other immigrants who gained citizenship at the ceremony yesterday).


Ortiz is now part of the country that claims George Washington, the Wright Brothers, Jesse Owens, Audie Murphy, Martin Luther King Jr., and Manny Ramirez as some of her favorite sons.

I bet when you play like that you get a free bowl of soup

Let me start this post out by saying I would never compare Rodney Dangerfield to Derek Jeter. One is a consummate pro who turns out hit after hit after hit and is one of the greatest of all-time. The other is an error-prone, overrated shortstop for the Yankees. Last night a Jeter error led to seven (7!) unearned runs in the top of the first and in the bottom half of the inning he grounded into a double play. Obviously, the next time up, when he got hit by a pitch on the hand, the tough, gritty Yankee captain, pulled an Al Czervik in Caddyshack, "Ow! My hand. I think it's broken," forcing his way out of the game and sparing him any further humiliation. And much to everyone's surprise x-rays were negative. What a pussy. I'm surprised he didn't "injure" himself by making a routine catch on a pop up behind third base, then, for some reason, take eight extra steps and dive into the stands unnecessarily.

Best of Manny Being Manny

Here's a highlight reel of the best of Manny's hijinks.




Does it get any better than that? I say, it does not.

Manny Being Awesome

This is why I love Manny. The guy is just out there having a good time. Once he's at the plate he's all business but in the field? That's where Manny goes to relax. I say, "Frig off," to anyone who thinks this play is anything other than awesome.



You can't really see it on this video but that was a great throw to the cutoff man. Manny, fundamentally sound.

Break Up the Rays!

There has been a lot of talk recently about the first-place Tampa Bay (Devil) Rays, and with good reason. It is a young, exciting team with some excellent pitchers and everyday players. There has been a lot of speculation about this team's chances of contending for a playoff spot this season and as much as I don't hate the Rays I'm not a believer in them this year. To quote Wolf from Pulp Fiction, "Well, let's not start sucking each other's [Popsicles] quite yet."

I examined the last eight teams to reach the AL playoffs (so the 2006 and 2007 fields) and looked at six important stats: Runs scored/game, team OPS, runs allowed/game, starter's ERA, bullpen ERA, and K/BB. Here is what I came up with:

The best for each category is highlighted in green, while the worst is in orange.

As you can see the Rays have by far the worst offense of the nine teams that I examined and a very poor K/BB ratio. This is usually a good indicator of how effective a pitching staff really is, although it's not the only one. Only the 2007 Yankees were worse in this department but they were also the most prolific offensive team that I looked at. However in terms of ERA and runs allowed Tampa Bay is one of best team of the nine. While I believe their starters will continue to be exceptional (the addition of Scott Kazmir will balance out the non-James Shields starters regression) I don't think that the bullpen will keep it up. The main culprits in the area are Dan Wheeler and Troy Percival. Wheeler has a career 3.96 ERA and 1.29 WHIP, not bad numbers for a journeyman reliever but in 2008 he's throwing like he's Dennis Eckersley, posting a 1.29 ERA and 0.81 WHIP while leading the club in appearances (18). It's hard for me to believe that this 30-year-old Warwick, RI native will continue to be lights out. As far as Percival goes, he's been outstanding, having only given up 4 runs all year (and 3 of those came in one game). He has a 2.40 ERA and 0.60 WHIP. The ERA isn't far off his career clip of 3.01 but this is hardly the All-Star Troy Percival of the early 2000's. I think he'll have a solid, solid year but I don't see him being an elite closer.

Regardless of what their bullpen might do, I think their main weakness is their offense. They have a couple quality bats in Carl Crawford, Carlos Pena, and BJ Upton but Evan Longoria is just a rookie and can't be expected to carry any serious load. Also, count me among those who think Erik Hinske will fall back to earth. This team is going to have a problem scoring runs and I just can't see them sticking around for the long haul.

Anyway I wish the Rays the best, I really do. I think 80-85 wins is a definite possibility but there is a lot of baseball to be played and there are a lot of quality teams that will give the Rays problems down the stretch. I expect Tampa Bay to regress a fair amount.

I just wanted to give a bit of perspective to the debate.

Oh, and they have some really lame uniforms. Seriously, they have the same logo on their home and road jerseys.

UPDATE#1: Champions of Breakfast

UPDATED W/ ROTATION (11:30, 4/24)

I'm not exactly sure why I'm doing this but I decided to assemble a baseball roster full of the best talent breakfast cereal characters had to offer and then write up a scouting report on them. Don't ask questions, just enjoy the ride:

Lineup


1. Trix Rabbit (Trix) -SS- 6-4, 195 S/R (Bats/Throws)
MLB Analogue: Jose Reyes

Trix Rabbit is everything you want in a shortstop/leadoff man. He's got excellent speed, a plus glove, and even a bit of pop in his bat. His maturation into an elite player is a testament to his perseverance. He had a seriously deprived childhood and was taunted mercilessly by ruthless neighborhood children who didn't know the meaning of sharing. Trix was able to convert his insatiable hunger for the cereal bearing his name into a positive force pushing him towards a championship.


2. Coco the Monkey (Coco Crispies) -LF- 6-0, 170 S/R
MLB Analogue: Coco Crisp (obviously)

An elite defender with very good speed Coco has proven himself very useful to the club over the years. His bat is slipping a bit but he's still able to get the job done in the 2-hole. His success is even more remarkable considering his life long battle with diabetes, which he has had ever since he ate two bowls of Coco Crispies AND drank all the milk in a 24-hour span.


3. Tony the Tiger (Frosted Flakes) -1B- 6-4, 235 R/R
MLB Analogue: Derrek Lee

Perhaps the best conditioned athlete in the entire league, Tony is a true force in the middle of the lineup having averaged .337/32/115 each of the past four seasons. He is a leader in the clubhouse but is affected heavily by S.A.D. (Season Affective Disorder). When it rains Tony's personality and hitting prowress go limp within minutes of being introduced to liquid.


4. Michael Jordan (Wheaties) -CF- 6-6, 205 R/R
MLB Analogue: Michael Jordan

Jordan is unquestionably the best player in baseball having won the MVP and a gold glove for five consecutive seasons. Yeah he only hit .202 with 3 HR in his year in the minors but he's Michael freakin' Jordan, he can do anything he wants. And its not like the rest of this article is based in reality.

5. Fraken Berry (Frankenberry) -DH- 6-5, 260 L/R
MLB Analogue: Frank Thomas

A prototypical DH, Franken Berry moves at a glacial pace but that doesn't much matter when all he has to do is trot around the bases. He's averaged 45 HR over the past 6 seasons and doesn't show any signs of slowing down. He can be a minor distraction in the clubhouse around Mother's Day each year when he and the commissioner's office inevitably feud about his refusal to regal himself in pink wristbands. In his defense, Franken Berry is already completely pink.


6. Sugar Bear (Sugar (Golden) Crisp) -3B- 6-1, 190 R/R
MLB Analogue: Pedro Feliz

A solid, no-frills player, Sugar Bear has played in all but three of the club's games over the past five seasons. A competent gloveman and a solid bat Sugar Bear doesn't put butts in the seats but he is an integral part of the team.


7. Cookie Crisp Crook (Cookie Crisp) -RF- 6-4, 205 L/L
MLB Analogue: Josh Hamilton

After battling legal problems for years the supremely talented Crook is finally with the big club. He is a major question mark heading into the season but if he can overcome his serious cookie addiction he could put this team over the top. Also, management must keep their eye on his long standing feud with backup outfielder Officer Krum.


8. Cap'n Crunch (Cap'n Crunch) -C- 6-2, 210 S/R
MLB Analogue: Jason Varitek

The Cap'n is the captain of the squad and for good reason, he has navigated the club through a number of shaky seasons while preventing them from succumbing to sogginess, which has prevented many talented clubs from becoming the Champions of the Breakfast Table. Cap'n is getting up there in age but he is as essential to the team as anyone.


9. Toucan Sam (Froot Loops) -2B- 5-8, 180 R/R
MLB Analogue: Ronnie Belliard

Sam isn't the most talented player in the field or at the plate (he was just .265/12/59 last year) but he is the one who keeps everybody smiling in the clubhouse with his practical jokes, off-color humor, and multi-colored beak. He also adds some much needed fruitiness (the good kind) to the lineup.




Rotation

#1. Count Chocula (Count Chocula) -LHP- 6-10, 225 (R/L)
MLB Analogue: Randy Johnson

A true number one starter the Count has led the league in strikeouts every year since he was discovered by a scout while playing semi-pro ball in Central Romania sometime in the 15th century. He has a two strikeout pitches, his plus plus fastball and nearly unhittable slider. The only knock on the Count are his day/night splits. (HI-O!)

#2. Lucky (Lucky Charms) -RHP- 6-0, 185 (R/R)
MLB Analogue: Daisuke Matsuzaka

Lucky doesn't throw that hard (his fastball tops out at 92) but he more than makes up for it with his wide variety of pitches, including the Heart Heater (2-seam), Horseshoe Curve, Blue Moon Slider, Clover Change, and his patented Red Baloon Eephus pitch. Lucky's career was seriously derailed several years ago when he was committed to an asylum because of his dangerous bouts with paranoia.

#3. Cornelius (Corn Flakes) -LHP- 6-9, 230 (L/L)
MLB Analogue: Mark Hendrickson

An aging, lefty thumber Cornelius never lived up to the expectations he made for himself when he burst onto the scene with a remarkable rookie season (19-7, 2.61 ERA, 287 K). He has seen the game pass him by but to his credit he has been a reliable, if not spectacular, pitcher, having topped the 200 IP mark all but once in his career. In the clubhouse Cornelius is very quiet and, like 1B Tony the Tiger, is afflicted with S.A.D.

#4. Fred Flintstone (Fruity/Cocoa Pebbles) -RHP- 6-2, 225 (R/R)
MLB Analogue: Livan Hernandez

The definition of an innings eater Flintstone has had to struggle for every out. After being discovered playing for Mr. Slate's team in the Rock Pile Softball League he became one of the leagues oldest rookies when he debuted at the tender age of 28. He won't wow anyone and is relegated to the bullpen come playoff time but is nevertheless an essential part of the squad.

#5. Honey Nut Bee (Honey Nut Cheerios) -RHP- 5-10, 160 (R/R)
MLB Analogue: Greg Maddux

Honey Nut Bee never had electric stuff but has survived in the league thanks to guile and a rubber arm that allows him to be spot started on short rest, eat innings in blowouts, and contribute if a game goes to extras. Despite his commitment to the team, he is mercilessly harassed in the clubhouse because he's one of the most annoying players in the game.

Awkward Time with the KC Royals

A couple weeks ago my buddy asked for my address because he was going to mail me a present; the only thing I knew about it was that it would take 2-3 weeks for delivery. So lo and behold last night when a nondescript package arrived at my house and I opened it to find the most awkward/homoerotic calendar in the history of earth: The 2008 Kansas City Royals Charity Calendar. Now on its face it might seem like this calendar would be a harmless compilation of baseball action photos, however it is instead a collection of uncomfortable glamor shots of Royals players wearing casual clothing and hanging out in an factory basement of some kind. I like to think that this photo shoot led to recreation of the fashion show scene from Slapshot:

Mark Grudzielanek: I'm going to flash 'em, Dayton!
Dayton Moore (KC GM): No, you're not.
Mark Grudzielanek: I'm gonna walk down that stinkin' runway, open up this faggot robe and wiggle my dick at 'em! And do you know why? Because I want you to have a heart-attack and die so we don't have to do this shit again! You and your fucking photo shoots!

Anyway the actual pictures from the calendar aren't on the Interweb but thankfully there are "outtake" photos, so let's dive in:

Brandon Duckworth, P







Poor Brandon, he went all out with the shooters and now he's not even on the 40-man roster. Just goes to show that it doesn't matter how cool you are, you still need talent to make a baseball team, even one as poor as the Kansas City Royals.










Ryan Braun, P







The Fake Ryan Braun. Like Mr. Duckworth (quack, quack, quack) Mr. Braun is not with the big league club at the moment despite his thin beard, androgynous watch, and superior flexibility.











Luke Hochevar, P






"I don't know if you heard me, I did over 1,000, that's a lot."














John Buck, C








Nothing says casual like hanging out in a cold basement in a $15 folding chair.














Mark Teahen, RF







"Shhh, don't tell anyone how incredibly mediocre I am."















Billy Butler, 1B/DH








The photo of Billy in the actual calendar makes you even more uncomfortable, if that's at all possible.

David DeJeus, OF & John Buck, C

That must be the wreath from the Royals' 2007 Christmas/Eliminated from the 2008 Playoffs Party.

"Give me back my wreath, damn you!"

And just when you thought it couldn't get more awkward utility infielder Mark Grudzielanek proves you wrong, so very very wrong:

If that's what the cut out, what they left in must be pure gold. For more awkwardness visit royals.com/calendar

Baseball Thoughts

Here are some disjointed musings about the first couple weeks of the baseball season:

AL EAST

Baltimore Orioles
-Yeah the O's are in first but there is no way they finish higher than fourth in the AL East; they don't have the pitching.

Boston Red Sox
-I have some minor concerns regarding the back end of the rotation. Lester is a solid four but a mediocre three, Buchholz isn't quite there yet, and Wakefield is Wakefield. I guess what I'm saying is outside of Beckett and (usually) Dice-K there is nothing close to a sure thing in this rotation. That is mildly concerning; they need to get something out of Bartolo Colon.
-The bullpen worries the shit out of me. There is one excellent reliever (Papelbon), one very good reliever (Okajima), and then a mix of potential has-beens (Timlin) and never-were's (Aardsma). Is Craig Hansen ever going to amount to anything, can Delcarmen be a reliable reliever? These are important questions. I just hope Theo doesn't make a Sauerbeck-esque panic trade at the deadline and ship Jed Lowrie to Colorado for Brian Fuentes.
-In the NBA this year everyone is talking about how Kobe Bryant deserves to win the MVP as a kind of lifetime achievement award (most people who support Kobe deny this but they are lying) even though Chris Paul and probably Kevin Garnett are more deserving. What I'm getting at is how about some love for my boy, Manny Ramirez. He's never won an MVP despite being one of the top 5 hitters of the past 20 years (Bonds, Griffey Jr., A-Rod, Pujols). From 1998 to 2006 Manny finished in the top 10 of the MVP voting. Regardless of not winning an MVP he's one of the greatest right-handed hitters of all-time.

New York Yankees
-Sucks that their two young starters (Kennedy and Hughes) have thrown a combined 22.1 innings in their first six starts; that works out to 3.2 innings per start. Not good.
-Sucks that Joba's dad has polio, if only they had a vaccine for it...

Tampa Bay Rays
-Shitty new name, shitty new uniforms. I can't believe they have the same logo on their home and road jerseys. That's bush league. Trivia: Did you know that all but eight of MLB's 30 teams use red or blue as their primary color and that only one (Oakland) uses green?

Toronto Blue Jays
-Rock solid rotation if A.J. Burnett can stay healthy. Four quality starters but where's the offense? Sorry, Alex Rios and Vernon Wells aren't that intimidating.

AL CENTRAL

Chicago White Sox
-There getting some quality pitching from their young guys and the addition of Nick Swisher is a big boost to their offense. I think this team will be competing for the playoffs in September, that is if Ozzie Guillen doesn't murder anybody.

Cleveland Indians
-C.C. Sabathia isn't helping himself during a contract year by stinking out the joint. They have serious bullpen issues but if Kobayashi, who averaged 30 saves a year in Japan, can step in those could all go away. Paul Byrd does steroids.

Detroit Tigers
-I, for one, am happy to see the Tigers struggling. I have nothing against them but I got fed up with all the talking heads penciling them into the World Series. They have no pitching, none. The Devil Rays' staff is much better.

Kansas City Royals
-Hurray for the Royals. I am very happy for Kansas City (seriously). They have great uniforms. I really hope they stick around and they will if Bannister and Grienke keep throwing B.B.'s and their young guys (Alex Gordon and Billy Butler) can step up and carry the offense. Joakim Soria is a quality closer and Joey Gathright is the most athletic player in the game. Witness:




Minnesota Twins
-Word on the street is that Liriano won't be Lirano until the All-Star break. That makes sense, he needs to learn to pitch again. Jason Kubel looks like a legit player.

AL WEST

Anaheim Angels
-Count me among those who thought Torii Hunter would fall off this year; turns out I was wrong and I couldn't be happier for the man. Helluva guy that Torii Hunter. This team is semi-legit but its record will be inflated by feasting on a moribund division

Oakland Athletics
-Poor Rich Harden, that canuck has all the talent in the world but just can't stay healthy. I am predicting a surprisingly good record for the A's simply because they have two Sweeney's (Mike and Ryan) on their team.

Seattle Mariners
-I'll be surprised if Eric Bedard pitches more than 170 innings this season. I don't think they have enough offense to compete with Anaheim, combine that with high expectations for this season and it looks like this year might be a disappointment.

Texas Rangers
-Closer C.J. Wilson has yet to allow a run this year, and he had two saves during a doubleheader. Hmm... This is a pretty forgettable team.

NL...coming soon.