I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.

Sounds like the French are taking a break from surrendering to plan their roads with amazing hilarity. If you cruise through the article here you'll see what I mean.

French hosehound does something kinda funny

So the French have dumped diplomacy in exchange for using city planing to take little jabs at each other. In a classic case of "hold me back"--where you say you're gonna fight someone but in reality you are just praying that your friends will hold you back long enough for the bouncers to throw everyone out of the club, where you continue to scream obscene things as you book it to a cab and thank god you didn't just get the shit beat out of you--two warring cities have placed one way streets that face each other. They outsourced the planning to the great great great grandson of the man that planned the streets in Boston, Seamus the Drunken Dancing Leprechaun the Sixth. Who, coincidentally, used the same tools for the planning of the roads as his predecessor, 18 pints of Guinness, a DUI arrest, an angry Polynesian hooker, a crayon and some construction paper.
While I'm at it, since our special teams writer apparently doesn't have enough vacation days from his 'freelance writing' job to read or write this blog, I would like to add this:

Tom Brady is gay.
Bill Belichick is a cheating hooker with a sex tape.
Manny Rameriz is a lazy bitch.
David Ortiz is fat.
The Boston Garden is a terrible venue.
The long chicken sandwich? It long chicken sucks ass.
Special Teams doesn't count.
France sucks.
Authority is awesome.
Bush was a genius.
Obama sucks.
The sky is green.
Ninjas are awesome.
Samurais can suck a big one.
Steven Seagal is a phenomenal actor.
Jim Rome is the best sports commentator ever.
Even though you punched me in the face, you still a little bitch.
AND I'M GLAD THE WHALERS MOVED!

Suck it bitch. Lets rumble!!!
( I love you, but I need to jumpstart things )
( But you did punch me in the face)

Look at that monkey run! Part Duex

The owner of the Falcons, who suck because they can't beat the Ain'ts sans Reginald H.W. Bush, let a racist comment slip out last night during an interview with those morons and Kornhieser. Watch this, it's short.
The beauty of the whole thing is the subtle reaction from the other guys in the box. For the rest of the interview, which was an obvious public relations move resulting from the Vick sentencing, everytime that they asked him a question they would "let him think about that one before" he answered. You can do all the talking you want about how your young team is going to do well next year, but if you don't have the foresight not to warn a black quarterback not to "eat fried chicken and french fries" in jail, you have bigger catfish to fry. At least Cosell had street cred. Good job cracka ass cracka.

Please tell me your kidding

It was recently brought to my attention that some of you pinko, commie, left-wing nutjobs have begun to blame someone for the fires in California. Wait for it.....wait for it....Bush!!!! Burning Bush!(again, too easy)
Come on people. I get it, you think that you are smarter than GWB. Is that why you were elected President. Or is that why you spend your days serving coffee to pricks that order "venti double whipped low-fat soy mocha lattes" every morning at seven-fifty a sip? And then have the balls to change your job title from "Moronic High School senior that serves me coffee" to "Barista." Ohhhhhh. You're a Barista! That makes all the difference in the world. Why don't you marry my daughter because lord knows I love me a good French Roast. Yeah, please be part of my family. We can all smoke shitty weed and drink coffee and listen to Norah "the wino" Jones. Then we can talk about our feelings and cut ourselves. It's not my fault that your dad didn't hug you and your mom is bitter that you made her fat. Take the nail polish off and go back to the Community Theatre where someone gives a shit that you think you're smarter than the leader of the most powerful nation in the history of Man.
Ok, so his Dad may have gotten him in to Yale. But guess what? He graduated! And they didn't hand out grades for cash back then. Because the didn't have rich bleeding heart liberals crying to their Daddy because Dr. Smith didn't like their sixth-grade book report on the socio-economic effects of the 6th Harry Potter book. Kiss my ass you morons. By the way, I want a LARGE BLACK COFFEE, not an Venti Drip. Venti Drip sounds like something that my grandfather may have contracted in Italy during the Second Great War, god rest is Irish soul. Yes, my grandfather served his country and loved it, but would punch you in the face if you told him that black coffee was now a Venti Drip. Miss you Pops.