Monday, June 4, 2012

The Dangers of the Reverse Shampoo Effect.

The Reverse Shampoo Effect is, clearly, the opposite of the Shampoo Effect.

You know when you shampoo your hair?  Me neither, but play along.  So, the first time you shampoo your hair, you get some moderate lathering.  If you actually bother to follow the directions calling for you to "rinse and repeat," you are met with such an overabundance of lather you begin to question the validity of your first attempt.  Also, you feel like you're in a shampoo commercial.
The Reverse Shampoo Effect is felt when you drink booze.  If you drink during the day, then nap, then try to drink again it's hard to get drunk the second time.  See the inverse relationship?  Good.  Moving on.

The real issue arises when you attempt to defeat the RSE.  I usually try to pound a few beers back real fast and see if I can get back to where I want to be.  This rarely works.  Mainly because you are already hungover from earlier and the beer doesn't taste very good and you immediately want to vom-vom.  Also, the alcohol content of beer is a little lower than one would want plus it takes a little time to digest.  So you make the intelligent decision to run a Hail Mary and go for some liquor.  Jameson if you're a man.  So you've pounded a few beers and had a shot of whiskey and you still feel dead sober... 

CAUTION DANGER AHEAD is what you should see, what you see is YOU CAN DRINK FOREVER. you proceed to drink more shots and over the course of thirty minutes you do 4 or 5 and you think you're feeling pretty good.  What you don't know, is you're about to make an ass out of yourself.  Traditionally, you go from hungover/kinda sober to shitfaced/blacked out in 20 minutes.  One minute you're bellied up to the bar having a grand old time, next minute you're face down in a puddle of someone else's vomit, vomiting your vomit on top of their vomit, vomitously.
Be careful my friends.