Monday, June 30, 2008

Baseball = America

Oh really, the league is dominated by foreigners? Really? I guess the fact that a large majority (over 60%) of baseball players are American doesn't count as dominating. Regardless, should this matter? Baseball provides an opportunity for many people from less fortunate countries to come to this great nation of ours and, hopefully, fulfill the American dream, just like my ancestors did 100 years ago. Seriously, it wasn't more than a generation or two ago that names like Sean O'Malley and Rico Petrocelli were as foreign as Manny Ramirez or Jose Reyes. So a quick recap: most players are American and those that are not, join the great American melting pot. (Also many of these players become American citizens, like David Ortiz.)

Football has become the new poker. It's over analyzed to hell because there isn't enough action for the talking heads to discuss so they just work themselves into a lather about completely unimportant and nonsensical issues like Terrell Owens or post-game handshakes. Baseball actually produces new action nearly everyday. Nonstop action is very American.

Also, it's technically, "San Demas Football Rules." Billy Madison stole that line from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure...

4 comments:

Ted said...

Where's your eagle, pussy?

Doug the Punter said...

i have the flag and a great American, Mr. Ortiz.

The Angry American said...

Baseball is no longer as American as other sports for one reason- money. Now that the centuries have passed, we have developed more advanced sports that require a whole lot more shit to play. Football requires helmets, pads, large playing surface, an oblong ball, many strict rules, and 22 people to play properly. This means that only wealthy nations can afford to allow their youth to play such a wonderful game and since we invented it- we have the upper hand. Baseball can be played in any third world dump with a few shitty supplies. Fuck that. America is home to football and Nascar nation. Why do foreign drivers suck compared to American? Because only America has real rednecks and only rednecks can drive winding country roads drunk at 90 miles per hour. This is a necessary skill to being a good nascar driver. And no Ted, not all players are white bama boys. But this makes sense, their grandparents and great grandparents were the best the African continent had so we brought em over.

Sheedy said...

Angry American,

Michael Schumacher called, he said to kiss his sauerkraut loving, Hitler hailing ass.