Please tell me your kidding

It was recently brought to my attention that some of you pinko, commie, left-wing nutjobs have begun to blame someone for the fires in California. Wait for it.....wait for it....Bush!!!! Burning Bush!(again, too easy)
Come on people. I get it, you think that you are smarter than GWB. Is that why you were elected President. Or is that why you spend your days serving coffee to pricks that order "venti double whipped low-fat soy mocha lattes" every morning at seven-fifty a sip? And then have the balls to change your job title from "Moronic High School senior that serves me coffee" to "Barista." Ohhhhhh. You're a Barista! That makes all the difference in the world. Why don't you marry my daughter because lord knows I love me a good French Roast. Yeah, please be part of my family. We can all smoke shitty weed and drink coffee and listen to Norah "the wino" Jones. Then we can talk about our feelings and cut ourselves. It's not my fault that your dad didn't hug you and your mom is bitter that you made her fat. Take the nail polish off and go back to the Community Theatre where someone gives a shit that you think you're smarter than the leader of the most powerful nation in the history of Man.
Ok, so his Dad may have gotten him in to Yale. But guess what? He graduated! And they didn't hand out grades for cash back then. Because the didn't have rich bleeding heart liberals crying to their Daddy because Dr. Smith didn't like their sixth-grade book report on the socio-economic effects of the 6th Harry Potter book. Kiss my ass you morons. By the way, I want a LARGE BLACK COFFEE, not an Venti Drip. Venti Drip sounds like something that my grandfather may have contracted in Italy during the Second Great War, god rest is Irish soul. Yes, my grandfather served his country and loved it, but would punch you in the face if you told him that black coffee was now a Venti Drip. Miss you Pops.